"d" the killer

Readers.. brace yourselves for some insanity.. you have all heard about "d" already.. and for the new readers (woohoooo.. new readers, how cool would that be??).. she's the bbf i always talk about.. and she even has her own blog.. oh yeah.. we call her pinky.. because i'm obviously the brain.. and here are a few recent pics of us.. go on.. click it.. right HERE.. and if those pics are not enough.. you could even check out her blog.. and people.. it's FUNNY (mom and dad.. you should stay away).. so here's HER blog (pink for pinky.. ahahahahahah)

Anyway.. so "d" believes that her and the man upstairs have a one-on-one relationship.. and i mean god.. not her landlord that she LOVES.. ahahahahah.. anyway.. they even have songs that she thinks he dedicates to her.. for example.. "Try" by nellie furtado.. that's their tune.. i kid you not.. ahahahahah :) Anyway, she usually gives up something for lent.. this year we were hoping it would be cancer sticks (aka ciggies).. but it's looking like she's way past that.. "d" has, 4 days into Lent, already committed murder.. it was pre-planned.. well thought-out.. investigated, researched and then carried out by her paid-for accomplices.. are you guys scared?? Because you should be..

Last night, i get a call from her at almost 2:00 am her time (she's in nyc).. and she's freaking out on the phone telling me it's done.. the bastard is dead she says.. and i'm all.. huh?? She continues "the trap i set.. i got him.. he's finished".. and so i go.. "Splinter is dead??" Here's a teenage mutant ninja turtle reference for everyone out there.. this right here is splinter and for those of you that are too scared to click.. he is a rat.. ahahahahahahahahaahahahah.. and not only that, he was a non-rent paying, free-loading non-invited 4th roomate in the apartment.. and now he's gone.. (let's have a moment of silence)..

She ends up waking up her roomate so that he can get rid of it.. and it takes about 15 minutes to convince him to get up and help... the other roomate (his sister).. gets up and tells them both to shut up because she is trying to get some sleep.. "d"'s comeback is as follows.. yeah.. go back to bed.. you have work in like 15, 16, 17 hours.. ahahahahaha.. finally they get splinter in a plastic bag.. and to bid him a fond farewell they throw in a magazine with jessica simpson on it.. yeah.. you know, they wanted him to have some reading material.. ahahahahha :)

Seriously though.. how great would it have been to have a camera there.. and best part is this.. before killing splinter.. she was getting ready for bed and she was so mad at him for eating her food (that's a big NO NO for her.. ahahahah).. and asked me to imagine if he climbed onto her bed and ended up sitting on her chest.. while punching her in the face.. please.. stop and try to visualize that.. a rat on your chest punching you in the face.. ahahahahaahahahahah.. and i was all.. what would you do?? You know, a super valid question considering that it's sooooo likely to happen.. so she got all worked up and was all.. i would kill him.. that little bastard.. mother f'er.. that piece of sh*t.. ahahahahah.. like REALLY mad.. as if he had just sat on her chest and punched her!!!! Ahahahahahahahah.. i can't stop laughing about it.. i mean.. honestly.. does anyone have weird friends like i do??

cracking up.. and hiding behind my computer so my "boss" doesn't see or hear me.. ahahahahahahaahah..
nounou :)